What is the difference between the popular social networking and circle social networking?

This article uses a social and psychological perspective to see that young people pursue fragmented social interactions because they are afraid of both loneliness and excitement, both seriousness and superficiality, and both long-term and momentary. It believes that brands should move from sharing economy to sharing emotions, and accurately understand and grasp the psychological needs of young users.

The trend of "hooking up for socializing" has been around for a while. In addition to the traditional Mahjong-style socializing, it has now evolved into anything. Although many articles have described the "hooking up for socializing" that young people are keen on, we want to explore the underlying reasons for the "hooking up culture" from a social and psychological perspective, and try to understand this fragmented social interaction among young people.

1. What is the difference between “finding a partner” and meeting online friends or dating friends?

When the search for a partner first emerged, we thought it was just another way of saying meeting someone online, just like we call shopping and walking "City Walk". So naturally, we had the following two questions:

1. If the purpose is to connect with others based on common interests, why not online communities?

Unlike online social circles, socializing requires physical companionship

In online social networking, you can be just netizens with members of a certain Douban movie group. You have never met each other, and you almost only talk about movie-related content in the group. You can chat enthusiastically, but you can't do this together in real life.

But when you want to watch a movie offline, and hope to have someone who shares the same aesthetic preferences as you, and not just watch it for fun, but want to have an in-depth chat about director Nolan's style, and that the companion who accompanies you to see "Oppenheimer" really likes this movie rather than just accompanying you reluctantly as a friend, then you need a movie partner who can sit shoulder to shoulder with you.

You can call this a face-to-face meeting with netizens, but not all face-to-face meetings with netizens can be called partners . Because partners usually meet to do something they want to do together, while face-to-face meetings with netizens are more about the person , hoping to have more contact and understanding with a person typing across the screen.

2. If it’s for the physical presence of someone, why not a friend?

Partners need deep resonance but also hope for light bonding.

Two people who are partners usually only have in-depth exchanges in areas that they are both interested in. The tacit sense of propriety, sense of boundaries and pursuit of freshness prevent each other from asking about topics that are not related to the field like checking the household registration. Strong resonance and light binding seem contradictory, but neither can be missing.

If your friend doesn't like watching movies, then it's understandable that you need to find a movie partner, because you need a soul who understands movies and has a sense of boundaries to resonate with you. But even if your friend also likes watching movies, you may not always go to the movies with him, because everyone still needs some freshness and a little distance. And this gap is filled by a partner.

In pure “hook-up relationships”, interest verticals and building friendships are completely polarized – everyone aspires to be highly dedicated in interest verticals, but tends to be superficial in building friendships.

The most distinctive thing about a "partner relationship" compared to other relationships is that it is both light and strong (light but strong), light on relationship and heavy on connection; light on investment and heavy on experience.

2. Why do we need to find a partner?

If we accurately understand the characteristics of the "hookup relationship", it is not difficult to understand why young people are becoming more and more keen on finding hookups.

1. People are afraid of both loneliness and crowds

(Photo source: Xiaohongshu netizen post)

Young people today are very particular about individual independence . We often hear slogans like, "I am myself first, then someone else's partner, friend, child, or parent." We encourage everyone to love themselves first and then others. These concepts strengthen the self-consciousness and promote individual priorities.

But people are afraid of loneliness by nature . With the rapid development of science and technology, young people can choose to interact with robots in more areas and stay at home. But only by communicating with people face to face offline can loneliness be eliminated.

In the past research projects on people born in the 1990s and 2000s, Ruishi Consulting found that people generally live in an environment where they are lonely but not alone, but they want to be alone but not lonely. In the words of the interviewees, various social software allow people to be connected at all times and quickly contact friends, but deep down they feel lonely because they are alone on their phones, watching TV shows, and eating after getting home from work every day. But if they go out to eat with friends, it is too tiring because they have to socialize, and they actually just want to have a quiet meal.

Therefore, the limited companionship in a "partner relationship" can just respond to this need to be alone but not lonely, and also avoid the loss of self-boundaries .

2. People are afraid of superficiality and seriousness

(Source: Xiaohongshu poster)

Most young people in cities live in a fast-paced environment. This high pressure makes everyone physically and mentally exhausted, and they have no intention or ability to seriously maintain a relationship that requires continuous investment of time, energy, and money . This kind of relationship can be between friends or lovers, but in essence, it is serious, earnest, and hard work.

But human nature often requires the pursuit of meaning . We hope to find the meaning of work, the meaning of life, and the meaning of survival. Therefore, this does not allow a person to live too mechanically, watching some mindless Mary Sue TV series and watching some funny and nonsensical short videos every day, and living a vacuous life.

In past projects of Ruishi Consulting that studied the current working conditions of young people, we have never heard a story with similar tension. A post-95s girl in Changsha is busy taking professional qualification exams every day in exchange for promotion and salary increase. She cannot quit her job easily because she needs the provident fund to pay off the mortgage of her single apartment. This kind of life makes her often open a bottle of RIO to relax herself after getting home alone after work. But if she has a choice, she would rather have a partner who can drink a little wine with her, prepare for the professional qualification exam together, complain together and encourage her not to quit easily, so that her hard work life does not seem so lonely, powerless and ridiculous, because at least there is someone who is working as hard as she is.

In other words, if there is a high-quality companion, then deep and restrained communication can accurately balance a young person's inner emptiness and overload .

3. People are afraid of both the moment and the long term

(Photo source: Post by a Douyin user)

The unstable environment, rapid technological iterations, and more diverse lifestyles have made every young person face more uncertainties and more possibilities . No one knows whether they will still have a job next year or whether they will take a gap year the year after. If taking care of the present has consumed all their energy , how can young people dare and be able to think about the future too far in the future, make commitments, and embrace longer-term and more stable relationships?

But human nature is to pursue a sense of stability . If a relationship is only one-time or temporary, then it is destined to mean that you will need to find a new replacement to fill the gap at some point in the future. And this constant search itself is sometimes very energy-consuming.

In this year's project, we have heard consumers share with us more than once that they are becoming more present-oriented. This is not because they don't want to plan for the future, but because the future is too changeable. If you can't do that, you might as well enjoy the present and not think too far into the future. But in fact, everyone is very eager for a sense of control , so they try to control how much sugar is added to the milk tea they drink, control the number of overtime hours each month, and control their weight.

Therefore, on the surface, it seems that more and more young people actively choose "hookup relationships", refuse to make new friends, and refuse to fall in love. In fact, this is the optimal solution at the moment after passive compromise . Hookup allows a person to invest only moderate energy while fully controlling himself.

III. Revelation

(Image source: SOUL app)

From sharing economy to sharing emotions

Sharing economy marketing has long been around, from Didi carpooling to McDonald's "half price for the second cup" to Pinduoduo inviting friends to get a discount. Consumers certainly get benefits, but this process is often accompanied by social embarrassment, social pressure and social consumption with strangers. But what if you team up with your friends and share the emotional value of consumption? The reason why we deeply analyze and interpret the deep psychology behind the culture of friends in the above article is to remind brands to accurately understand the emotional needs of young people today.

Author: Researchism

WeChat public account: Researchism Consultancy (ID: ResearchismCo)