Workers encounter overbearing leaders: obedient, taking the blame, and always available

The author interviewed five workers who had encountered domineering leaders. They shared their stories and summarized some insights and experiences in the workplace, hoping that it would be helpful to you.

When looking for a job, first check your leader’s background.

Recently, Qu Jing, the former vice president of public relations at Baidu, has become famous. Not only has she been on the hot search for two consecutive days, but she has also been reported by major media at home and abroad.

The story began a few months ago. According to the media, Qu Jing required all members of the public relations department to open short video self-media accounts. Failure to do so would affect annual performance. After the announcement of this requirement, several employees chose to resign. As a leader, the short video account she took the lead in opening quickly gained followers during the May Day holiday thanks to a series of controversial workplace topics.

It seems that Qu Jing's personal IP has been successfully established, but because her views are too sharp, she has been criticized. Netizens first expressed dissatisfaction with her cold-blooded remarks such as "Why should I consider the family of my employees? I am not her mother-in-law" and "If you care so much about your boyfriend, you can resign and I will approve it immediately." Later, the discussion directly escalated to the value of Baidu as a company.

Now, Qu Jing has left Baidu, but the domineering management style she demonstrated in the short videos still sparks heated discussions among netizens.

"Focus" talked to five workers who had encountered domineering leaders. These domineering leaders were in various industries, both men and women. They had a relatively consistent portrait: they liked to exploit employees' time, and even required them to be online 24 hours a day. They had a strong desire for control, liked to PUA employees in public and did not accept being refuted by their subordinates. Once problems occurred at work, they liked to find someone to take the blame.

In this regard, the attitude of most workers is to endure it if they can, and choose to resign if they can't. If they want to work well under such a domineering leader, cultivating emotional intelligence is more important than improving professional skills.

Here are their stories.

1. "Serving" the boss, being obedient, taking the blame, and being available at any time

Feng Chao | Beijing Internet Industry

The leader I am following now is probably a typical overbearing leader. She is in charge of the company's public relations and gives the outside world the impression of being capable and professional. Her clothes are very business-like, with only three colors, black, white and gray. Although she is not tall, she has short hair and is thin, and she is full of energy, with an aura of "1.8 meters".

Based on my experience of working under her for the past two years, I have summarized several characteristics of a domineering leadership style. I hope that young people who mind it can avoid it as soon as possible.

First of all, the domineering type of leadership has a strong desire for control and is not suitable for workers who are particularly opinionated.

My boss likes to give orders and doesn't like to listen to suggestions. She just wants everyone to follow her instructions. At first, I felt that I had no sense of existence and my value was not brought into play. Later, I realized that "obediently" doing what she wanted was easy and worry-free, and the most cost-effective.

A boss-like leader not only controls the overall situation, but also manages every detail. If she is too busy, her subordinates will have to report everything. In this way, I will be exhausted like a spinning top, and she may be impatient when listening to my report, but if I don't report, it will be my fault. If there is any mistake, it will be terrible.

Second, a domineering leader is never wrong and is not suitable for workers who are too picky.

When something goes wrong at work, my boss's first reaction is always to clear herself of the blame and pass it on to someone else. If there is someone responsible, she will pass it on to someone else. Whom will she pass it on to? Usually it is a subordinate she is familiar with or even trusts relatively. Like me, I have learned a lot from taking the blame in the past two years.

Suppose a press conference went wrong, and it was obviously because she didn’t give a good warning, but she might criticize me in front of the company’s boss, “You are so unreliable, why didn’t you find the problem earlier?” “Why didn’t you remind me at the time?”…

At this time, it is best for me to remain silent or say a few words to please her. However, if I argue with her when she is angry, not only will I lose face, but she will also think that I am on the opposite side, and then I will definitely not end up well.

In fact, she was not deliberately trying to trip me up by passing the buck. The thinking logic of a boss is self-centered, and she is very arrogant and thinks she can never make mistakes. If the buck was really passed on for no reason, or her attitude was too radical, she would still find an opportunity to say a few words to me afterwards.

Third, domineering leaders lack empathy, so don’t talk too much about feelings.

Once, a sister in the department said that her child was sick and she could not go on a business trip. My leader responded on the spot, "Why did the company invite you? Why do you want to delay the company's project just because your child is sick?" Did he say the same thing as Baidu's Qu Jing? I don't know other people, so I won't comment, but my leader was indeed very cold-blooded and inhumane.

In fact, she has a two-year-old child, and her family needs her these past two years, but her family is very supportive and all cooperates with her career. She thinks that men and women in the workplace should be as hardworking as she is, always available, working overtime until late at night, and working all year round, otherwise they are not dedicated. Therefore, several female colleagues with children did not stay in our department for long.

Frankly speaking, I have learned a lot from her in the past two years. I have gained some professional skills, but more importantly, I have been tempered. If I were to summarize, I think that to be able to work under a boss-like leader, emotional intelligence is the first priority, even more than work ability. Of course, ability cannot be bad either, otherwise, life will be suffocating every day.

2. If leaders only think about “managing upwards”, can the company’s performance still be good?

Axiang | Hangzhou Advertising Industry

My direct supervisor has been in the company for many years and is one of the "veterans" who started the business with the boss. He once said, "Even if you all leave, I won't leave." This is indeed the case, which also led to his "domineering" management style.

The most obvious manifestation is that he emphasizes that "everyone has to listen to me", "I have the final say", and "my standards are the standards". Anyone who expresses doubt will be marginalized.

He liked to set some unrealistic KPIs. Once, a new team member whispered to him, "How is it possible that we can't even achieve these performance goals in years with good industry performance?" The leader's face immediately darkened.

The subsequent plot development is predictable: sometimes the department would not notify this team member when holding meetings, and the leader would directly bypass him and talk to the client; every time there was a meeting, when departments were passing the buck to each other, this team member would be pushed out; when the project required a long business trip, this team member was also sent there. After holding out for half a year, this team member chose to resign.

Our company is project-based. I am a designer in the team. My leader doesn’t really understand design, but he gives me a lot of advice. He often throws a picture at me and says I want a certain style. Not to mention that the sample picture is obviously a high-budget version, even if I make it, he will always find some mistakes. In the end, I often end up using the first version after working hard for a long time.

There are some other behaviors of his that make me feel uncomfortable. For example, he would comment on the figure, education background, and outfit of female team members; he would ask the team to work overtime with him and eat with him; he also stipulated that work communication with colleagues from other groups should be reduced and competition should be maintained in private; he required team members to be on call at any time... In short, when he is not in the office, even our expressions will be more relaxed.

At one point, I really wanted to quit. The pressure was so great that I didn't want to go to the company or make eye contact with him. A senior told me, "Since the company didn't fire you, it means you are capable. Many companies may have such leaders. Do I have to quit every time?" After hearing this, I decided to persevere and have been working here for more than two years.

In essence, the reason why the boss can become a boss is because he has some control . For example, our monthly KPI coefficient is determined by him, which means he can deduct as much as he wants from our salary. For example, if he gets a share of the profits from a successful deal, he can say that he used his connections. It is difficult to determine the facts, but it will affect our bonuses. The extent of their control is determined by their past resume, their relationship with the boss, and the performance they bring to the company.

My first goal as a leader is to manage upward, keep my job, and pass on responsibility appropriately.

Working under such a boss is very exhausting, because you have to deal with a lot of "workplace politics" outside of work. In the eyes of the boss, team members like us are not part of the company, but his subordinates, serving him.

Even if I didn't leave, it would be hard for a company to have real output in such an atmosphere, and we obviously had fewer new customers. Later, my mentality also changed to "get along well with the boss", but with such a mentality, how could I make progress? I recently wanted to try a different industry, at least next time I change jobs, I will definitely search online to see if there is a bossy boss in this company.

3. Fainted twice in half a year, only 2 people left in a 10-person team

Mengmeng | Beijing entertainment industry

A domineering leader like Baidu's Qu Jing at least has a good resume. When this kind of person PUAs me, I can still listen to some of it. But my leader only has the temperament of a domineering boss. He is very unprofessional in both professional skills and team management.

She has a good personal image and has been the head of many large projects. However, after working with her again and again, I found that she doesn't understand brand promotion at all.

For example, she couldn’t tell the difference between the types of promotional materials, nor did she know how to promote them. Once, she announced in the work group that the company was going to create a promotion matrix, and she asked every employee to register a social media account with their own mobile phone number and leave a message in the comment section of her video.

She wanted to create her own IP. If she used our team's planning and photography, it would be an easy thing to accomplish, but she chose to travel around the country with her assistant and then threw the materials to us for editing. These materials were fuzzy and illogical. We were like re-creating with garbage materials, which was very time-consuming and energy-consuming.

Her overbearing management style also made us uncomfortable. She managed upward by exploiting employees, and employees took on multiple roles without receiving overtime pay or benefits. For example, the group stipulated that employees could be reimbursed for taxi fares after 10 p.m., but a colleague took a taxi before 11 p.m., and she directly rejected the request, saying that at that time, it was obvious that the employee was waiting for a taxi.

I have been in this company for less than half a year, and there are only two people left in the team of less than ten people. She thinks I don’t know how to manage, and keeps telling me that our department does not need too many people, and we can just set up a small workshop, but the workload remains the same, and we have to do the group’s brand promotion, the boss’s IP, and her IP.

This domineering leader has exhausted me.

Whenever WeChat rings on weekends, I start to get angry. I wanted to stay in the group for a few more months, but I feel that my body has begun to resist. I lost 9 kilograms in the first month and fainted twice in half a year. My colleague was even more exaggerated. One time, he felt uncomfortable and wanted to vomit just after walking downstairs of the company. Later, he went to the hospital and found out that his anxiety disorder had worsened.

This work experience has taught me a lesson. Next time I join a company, I must first conduct background checks on the leader through various channels to understand the experience and style of my direct leader. Once I meet a domineering leader, I will run away without any hesitation.

4. Messages must be replied within 5 minutes, and verbal violence is commonplace

Xiaoxiao | Shanghai Internet Industry

Although there are not many leaders like Qu Jing in the workplace who take the initiative to make controversial remarks to attract attention, there are many overbearing leaders with a similar work style to her. I used to work in a large Internet company and met one of them.

She is a female leader in her 40s, well-known in the industry. Both her appearance and work style reveal the genes of a big company. She focuses on efficiency and results, and is very demanding of her subordinates. This demandingness is mainly reflected in squeezing employees' time and verbal abuse.

My boss rarely holds meetings during the day. She often sends a message to everyone to gather in the meeting room when it’s almost time to get off work. She also requires employees to reply to work group messages 24/7. If we don’t reply within five minutes after issuing an order, she will call us immediately. Of course, she also sets an example. Although she has a child, she doesn’t care about her family and often sleeps in the company. She also often says that she thinks work comes first compared to family.

She made us work overtime, often to no avail.

She often has sudden bursts of inspiration, and when she thinks of an idea she will hold a meeting and instruct everyone to implement it without giving clear standards.

When we worked on a plan late into the night, she would always reply, “It’s almost there, take it back and revise it.”

In the end, we often received low performance scores from her because we failed to meet KPI standards.

Verbal violence has become commonplace. She often publicly criticized more than one employee for their incompetence and always used foul language, and people in the department were often scolded by her and cried. She didn't care about the high turnover rate of the team, thinking that the other party had poor stress resistance and there were plenty of people anyway, so she would hire more after they left.

Since she was in charge of performance control, we dared not speak out and could only do what she said. In the end, we couldn't hold on any longer and some of us chose to resign or change jobs. After working under her for a year, I also changed teams because of the pressure.

I am not a person who cannot handle pressure. I have been in the workplace for many years, often doing high-intensity work, and rarely leave work on time. But this domineering leader is a bit too much. I cannot accept her groundless accusations and emotional management of employees.

But I am also very grateful for this experience, which made me more clear in my career choice. When looking for a job, in addition to paying attention to the company size and salary and benefits, you should also look at the style of your direct supervisor.

After all, no matter how big the company is or how clear its corporate culture is, you will ultimately join a department of the group, which is a small circle, and it is very important whether you and your direct supervisor are in sync.

5. After being criticized in public by the boss, I also began to cultivate my aura

Luo Fei | Beijing Technology Industry

As soon as I graduated from college, I joined a company led by a domineering CEO. At first, I understood "domineering" not as overbearing, but as domineering.

The boss studied in the United States, speaks fluent English, is very eloquent, and is very young. He gave a motivational speech at our school, with many golden sentences and very domineering, and attracted many fans, including me. Then I went to his company after graduation.

Later I learned that the other side of domineering is overbearing. For example, the boss would lose his temper during a meeting and scare the people who were reporting.

At a morning meeting, the heads of various departments reported on the progress of work in the previous week. One of the department leaders was a few minutes late, and there was a data error in the PPT report. The boss interrupted him directly and asked him if he didn't want to do it anymore. Then he started a nearly one-hour "on-site education" to teach everyone a lesson. He drew inferences from one example, quoted classics, and made the problem very serious, as if this person had made a big mistake. Then he asked the whole company to rectify it and not allow similar situations to happen again.

The atmosphere in the conference room was very depressing at the time. The air seemed to be frozen, and the voices of the people speaking at the back were trembling.

However, strangely, after the meeting, the boss's mood changed 180 degrees, he was talking and laughing, and even joking with his colleagues. I didn't understand at first, but later I realized that the boss was just enjoying the feeling of holding the whole audience and "educating" others.

There is no one who has not been publicly criticized by him. From business to finance, to the front desk and even cleaning, they are often criticized by him in public. Moreover, his thinking is very divergent. Every time he talks about something, he will talk about it very far, to a very high level, and he will definitely talk about it until you are ashamed and unable to refute.

The most memorable time was when my boss asked me to follow up with a client. Later, the client ran away with the order. The reason was not my fault, but a communication problem with a colleague. Maybe my boss was in a bad mood that day. He started to criticize me in front of everyone in the office and said I was useless. He talked about business details, professional ethics, and responsibility. The key point was that there were several employees of external partners in our company at that time, which made me lose face.

After get off work that day, I didn't go home. I ordered a cup of bitter coffee without sugar at a cafe near the company and sat alone for an hour.

People have aura.

I am the type with a weaker aura, I tend to be indifferent to others, and I don’t like to argue. At first, I thought I was doing something wrong, so I could only set higher standards for myself and work harder. Later, more and more colleagues left, and they told me more about their true feelings after leaving. After the information was synchronized, I realized that it was too difficult to get along with the domineering boss.

However, I also learned some things during this period, such as working more meticulously, being more sensitive to details, and being able to look at problems more dialectically. I also consciously trained my aura so that I could remain gentle while also having some edge.

Different people have different leadership styles, some are strong, some are friendly. For workers, an overbearing boss may be suffocating, but the company may be strong in business; a friendly boss may be easier to get along with, but the company may have more management loopholes. There is no absolute good or bad, only suitable or unsuitable.

*At the request of the interviewees, all names in the article are pseudonyms.

Author: Bruce Xiangyuan, Editor: Xingxing

WeChat public account: Dingjiao