Giving gifts during the Spring Festival is difficult for young people in big cities

Young people who have worked hard in big cities for a year are about to start their journey back home. Giving gifts has become a headache for young people. Gifts should not only be unique, but also have a sense of ritual and practicality. They should also be high-end and not vulgar, so that the recipient can feel that you really put in a lot of effort. The author of the following article had a deep conversation with five young people about what kind of gifts should be given during the Chinese New Year. Let's take a look.

The countdown to the Year of the Rabbit Spring Festival has begun.

Young people who have worked hard in big cities for a year are about to start their journey back to their hometowns. But giving gifts to family, relatives and friends is not an easy task. Young people think that gifts should be unique, with a sense of ceremony and practicality, and should also be high-end and not vulgar, so that the recipients can feel that they really put in a lot of effort.

But in fact, young people focus on consumption upgrades, while people back home seek practicality. Young people returning from big cities have struggled for many years with gift-giving before they found the right way to do it.

Just like the five young people who chatted with Shenran today, they have tried to bring local specialties from their own city to their relatives, but Beijing roast duck and Hangzhou lotus root powder were mostly rejected; they have also tried to send health care products and smart products, but in the end, the health care products expired and the smart products were left to gather dust; others have carefully prepared gifts that they thought were thoughtful, but in the end they found out that the other party had no use for them at all.

Young people who have been "slapped in the face" by reality have begun to change their thinking. Giving money directly, although simple and crude, is an option that satisfies everyone; following the local customs and giving "hard currency" from hometown is basically a good idea; finding things that people of the same age group like is also a way; the best situation is of course to communicate more with family members, understand their real needs, and give gifts just right.

Complaints aside, the annual Spring Festival is the most important festival for Chinese people. Young people are willing to express their feelings through this festival, and family members are also happy to enjoy the filial piety of the younger generation. When it comes to gift giving, communication and understanding are the best ways to resolve misalignment.

1. The 198 yuan Beijing roast duck is not as good as the 38 yuan roast duck on the street in the county town

Han Bing | 32-year-old Beijing Internet practitioner

At first, I thought that since I was working in Beijing, it would be reasonable for me to bring Beijing specialties when I went home for the New Year. So my husband's family and I received roast duck and Daoxiangcun cakes from us in the early years.

We also bought Beijing-style cigarettes and alcohol. I remember there was a cigarette called Daqianmen. But people from different places have different tastes for things like cigarettes and alcohol. My dad couldn't get used to the cigarettes we bought, and he stopped smoking after trying them once. The liquor we bought was a sauce-flavored liquor, while we Shanxi people generally prefer light-flavored liquor.

At first, my family didn’t like the gifts we bought, but they were too embarrassed to say it directly. Until one year, when my husband wanted to buy Beijing specialties before going home, his sister said, don’t buy those, the children don’t want to eat them. I also gradually learned from my family that no one wanted to eat the cakes I bought, because they were all expired.

What's even more embarrassing is that the Peking duck I bought was sealed in plastic. My dad excitedly invited his good friends to his house to eat it, but in the end, I don't know how he came to the conclusion that the Peking duck was fake, and called to ask if I was cheated. I spent a lot of effort to explain the difference between the Peking duck sealed in plastic and the authentic Peking duck. But the evaluation of the relatives in my hometown for the Peking duck sealed in plastic for 198 yuan is not as good as the Peking duck freshly roasted for 38 yuan in a small street shop in the county.

When I first found out about it, I was quite unhappy. The things I brought back with great effort did not leave a good impression on my family, and they left a lot of complaints. Later, I thought about it carefully. The taste of the roast duck was greatly reduced after it was sealed in plastic. Every year during the Spring Festival, my family buys New Year's goods according to the custom passed down for decades. It is normal that they are not interested in specialties from other places.

Later, I changed my mindset and gave money directly. At the same time, I followed the example of my family members and bought some food and drinks and other hard currency when visiting relatives. This way, I felt more relaxed when I went home. I didn't have to carry a lot of things or worry about what to buy before going home.

In recent years, I usually transfer several thousand yuan to my parents before the Chinese New Year so that they can buy new clothes and prepare for the New Year. Because my parents are very opinionated when choosing clothes, they usually try them on before buying them. When they go out, they often tell people that the clothes were bought by their daughter.

When visiting relatives during the Spring Festival, I just follow the crowd and buy milk, walnut juice, eight-treasure porridge, canned food and other things, and then give some red envelopes to the children of my relatives. The "hard currency" sent over can continue to circulate. Sometimes my family receives gifts from others, and I just pick up a few boxes when I go to my relatives' homes. It is really convenient. Moreover, there are many people during the Spring Festival, and the consumption of drinks is very high, so the gifts given to each other can also be used.

A relative of mine is celebrating her zodiac year this year, so I bought her a set of red underwear and socks online in advance, but everything else followed the old rules.

I now feel that gift giving should be based on local customs and the needs of each family. If the things their children buy like, they can buy them according to their children's ideas. If the parents have strong ideas, just go along with them. If they like to receive gifts, give gifts. If they like to spend money on their own, just give money directly. It's fine as long as the intention is expressed.

2. The carefully selected gift was "poured cold water", so I planned to give a "hard currency" blood oximeter this year

Dudu | 28 years old, Shanghai operations

I have been working away from home for more than three years, and I always go back to my hometown in Northeast China during the Spring Festival. I am a person who misses my home a lot. I will send home any delicious food or drinks I come across. I have the habit of giving gifts, so giving gifts during the Spring Festival is a habitual action for me. I give gifts every day, and I will give gifts even more during the Spring Festival.

I have many relatives in my hometown who I know well. They often help me from school to work. I hope to express my gratitude by giving gifts on this festival. When I first went to work in another place, I felt that I was returning home in glory before the Spring Festival, and I should show my "economic strength" . At that time, I was very careful and planned for almost a month in advance. I chose gifts for my aunts, the elderly at home, my parents, and my sister who had a good relationship with me. My idea was very simple and pure, just like giving birthday gifts to good friends. I hope that my relatives in my hometown can also feel that I am carefully choosing gifts.

But the feedback they gave me after receiving the gift made me feel a little disappointed. I gave my aunt a pair of gloves because she had to go out to buy groceries every day. It was very cold in Northeast China, and her hands would be frozen after visiting the open-air market. I chose a pair of fur-leather gloves with separate fingers, which cost more than 200 yuan. I considered it very comprehensively. First, I couldn't buy gloves without separate fingers, because it was inconvenient to carry things. Sometimes they used cash, and gloves with separate fingers were convenient for taking money. Second, I couldn't buy woolen gloves. It always snowed in my hometown in winter, and woolen gloves were particularly easy to get wet. Wet gloves were cold and useless.

She was quite happy when she received it, and the size was right for her. I naively thought she would wear it every day, but when I went to visit her the following year, she said she had only worn it once or twice, and now she has put it away, saying that she always feels uncomfortable with something on her hand, and that she always feels uneasy when she can't touch the eggplant or cucumber case when buying vegetables.

From this incident, I understood that there is a gap between the needs of my family and their own needs. Our consumption concept is often covered by the shell of pseudo-needs. I chose this pair of gloves, perhaps based on my needs, without considering practicality at all. In recent years, I have bought nut gift boxes, and Northeast hard currency milk and Lulu gifts. There is no creativity, but it is indeed safe.

This year is special. I chose the perfect gift, a blood oximeter for the elderly at home. I bought it online and had it shipped directly to my home. It cost more than 100 yuan each. I bought four, but they haven't been shipped yet. It doesn't matter if it doesn't arrive before the Chinese New Year. I plan to bring some food and drinks when I pay New Year's greetings, and mention that I bought blood oximeters for everyone, and they will arrive in a few days.

No one will find fault with this thing when they receive it, and this kind of instrument is something that "I hope you will never need to use", so you won't feel it is a waste to just keep it, but rather it will give you peace of mind.

My experience tells me that you should not try to accurately grasp the needs of each person, as the end result will definitely be a thankless task. For my parents, I will still carefully choose gifts, and for other relatives, my idea is to find the common needs of the same age group and give similar things, so that I can't go wrong.

3. We hope that gifts can impress the elderly, but local specialties, health products, and smart products are all wiped out

Jiang Qi | 28-year-old financial practitioner in Hangzhou

After I started working, I would give gifts to my grandparents and other elderly people living in rural Zhejiang every year when I returned to my hometown. My early thoughts were that since I finally got a job and came back from a big city, the gifts I brought should be decent, and I also put a lot of thought into this matter.

Hangzhou specialties are what I consider first, such as lotus root starch, cakes, and tea, the three treasures of West Lake. I bought them and brought them back to my parents and relatives a few years ago, but most people don’t like them . On the one hand, it is difficult to satisfy everyone’s taste, and on the other hand, some cakes are heavy in oil and sugar, which are not suitable for the elderly.

Later, I also gave them health supplements, such as cordyceps, ginseng, bird's nest, etc., but the elderly thought they were too expensive to eat, and they were not used to using them. Some of them did not know how to use them and the dosage, so they were all left unused. The health supplements for various vitamins were often left uneaten until they expired.

In recent years, I have also given away some smart small appliances, such as air purifiers, humidifiers, massagers, ultraviolet disinfection machines, etc. The most embarrassing thing is that I gave away a smart speaker with a screen. I thought that the elderly don’t have smart phones, so this should be very suitable, and it can also video chat. As a result, because the elderly have been speaking their hometown dialect all their lives and cannot speak Mandarin, the smart speaker cannot recognize their language and is completely unusable, which makes people laugh and cry.

There are three types of gifts in my hometown: fruits, nuts, milk or drinks such as Wang Laoji. Generally, the gifts brought to relatives during the Spring Festival are standard three-piece sets, and the gifts sold in stores are also in the form of gift boxes or fruit baskets, each costing dozens of yuan. These are more practical for the old family and are very popular.

And the people who received the gifts can continue to give them out to others. I once sent a box of New Year's limited edition drinks that I specially selected in Hangzhou to a relative's house on the third day of the Chinese New Year, and I saw the box at another relative's house on the fourth day.

However, popular hard currency also has a problem. Too much is delivered at the Spring Festival, and the shelf life is limited, resulting in waste. One year, everyone sent more than a dozen boxes of milk to my grandparents, and I found that they were still there when I went back the next year.

In addition, when I go back to my hometown every year, I will prepare some Angong Niuhuang Pills for the elderly at home. This medicine may be of some use at a critical moment.

I am going home for the Chinese New Year soon, and I am worried about what to bring back. My overall idea now is that I will give away the popular three-piece sets in my hometown, especially to relatives with whom I have a general relationship. For my grandparents, I still want to buy something that can be placed at home and used all year round, which is practical and can make the elderly feel nostalgic when they see it.

I think when giving gifts to relatives in our old age, we should respect the traditions of the elders and choose things that they would be happy to accept. For example, when giving gifts to grandparents, I will consult my parents' advice, as they may understand the older generation better.

It is difficult for young people in big cities to send gifts to their families in their old age. The main reason is that there is a huge difference in concepts. The differences in generations, customs between big cities and rural towns, and education levels have caused young people to be active in thinking and pursue consumption upgrades or fashionable things. The older generation, who came from a difficult era, will think that many things are flashy and impractical. If you want to send gifts to the heart, you still need to communicate with the elderly more often on a daily basis to understand what they need.

4. Food gifts are stored in the refrigerator until they expire, and daily necessities are kept for two or three years without being used.

Xiu Li | 30 years old, copywriting planner in Zhengzhou

When we were young, the gifts we gave during the Chinese New Year were biscuits, sugar, and eight-treasure porridge. Now it is popular to give milk, oil, and dried fruits.

I think it is necessary to give gifts during the Chinese New Year, but the most annoying thing is that the gifts are impractical and full of formalities.

Some parents have very strange ideas. If their children give them fish or fruits during festivals, they will think they are too stingy. If they don't bring good wine, meat or cigarettes, they will not do the job. I have a neighbor whose daughter returned to her parents' home after getting married. She brought ordinary fruits and fish. The father-in-law thought they bought cheap things and was unhappy.

My parents are the same. If we don’t send them food, they think we are unfilial, but if we do, they won’t eat them and will just hoard them.

They hoarded things to such an extent that in 2016, we had a dinner party and left some seasonings and some vacuum-packed corn. I saw them still at home when I went home on National Day in 2022. The same is true during the holidays. When we bought things for them, I found that many of them were expired when I went home the next time. But if we didn't buy them, we would definitely be accused of being unfilial.

The children in my hometown have grown up, and either got married or went out to work. There are fewer people at home, but the refrigerator has increased from one to three, all filled with meat and vegetables that cannot be consumed.

If they are given practical daily necessities, they are reluctant to use them and would just keep the things and pile them up without using them.

Once, I felt that the clothes in my hometown were of poor quality and expensive, so I bought some clothes in Zhengzhou and sent them back. My mother tried them on and couldn’t wear them, so she got angry and said to me, “Don’t buy me clothes anymore, I don’t need clothes.” They also kept a lot of the daily necessities I bought for them. Most of these things were sent directly back home. When I got home later, I found that some of them had been left at home for two or three years without the labels removed.

We were also very sad that the things we bought for the Chinese New Year were wasted. When I asked them why, they always told me that it was better to have something than nothing. Later I figured it out. I think it was because we didn't spend enough time with our parents. If I was at home, accompanying them, these things would definitely be used.

My idea of ​​gift giving has also changed. Gifts must be delivered in person so that I can get feedback in time. If I can't deliver them in person, I will just give red envelopes directly.

When I went back home for the Mid-Autumn Festival and National Day in 2022, I brought back the welfare bonuses issued by the company, bought some fruits and vegetables, and topped up some money on the supermarket shopping card at home.

I plan to give out red envelopes for the Chinese New Year this year, but I won’t buy anything because I’m worried that my parents will hoard things again.

I think formalism in gift giving is the most unnecessary. I saw on the Internet that in some places, people gave a truckload of milk as a gift for an engagement. I thought it was strange because they would not be able to finish it and the money would go to the supermarket. It would be useless. The best New Year gift is to go home often.

5. As soon as the twelfth lunar month begins, people start preparing for the New Year gifts, spending a month's salary on them.

Yueyue | 26 years old Product procurement Shijiazhuang

I have been working for 5 years. At the beginning, I worked in Beijing. When I went home for the Chinese New Year, I would buy Daoxiangcun cakes and Beijing roast duck for my family. I felt that I should always bring some local specialties back for the Chinese New Year so that my parents and relatives could taste them. At first, my parents were very happy to receive these gifts, but after eating them, they felt that they were not as delicious as expected, and the prices were high, and they thought I spent too much money.

To be honest, I was a little sad at the time. I had just graduated and started working, and my salary was not high, only about 3,000 yuan a month. I spent about 1,500 yuan on buying local specialties, which was nearly half a month's salary. I spent money on gifts to get praise from my parents, but they turned me down.

Afterwards, I realized that my parents felt sorry for me because it was not easy to earn money. People in big cities, after satisfying their needs of food and clothing, may pursue gifts of a spiritual level. For example, a commemorative T-shirt of a band they like, or girls like to receive flowers. But when giving gifts in my hometown, it will be easier for people to accept it according to the customs of my hometown.

So, when giving gifts during the Chinese New Year, I began to change my mindset. I would choose some affordable gifts and give gifts based on the needs of each person in the family.

For example, my father loves to save face and likes to proudly show off the gifts his daughter bought for him in front of his friends. I usually buy him slightly more expensive liquor, which costs around one thousand yuan and is very delicately packaged and looks good when placed at home. My mother doesn't like flashy gifts, so I will prepare skin care products that she cannot do without, cooking oil, rice, millet, etc. that she cannot do without in daily life. When giving gifts to children, you can directly ask the children's opinions and buy what the children really like, instead of buying what you think the children will like.

Because there are many people in our family, I have to spend a lot of time to prepare a gift for everyone. I usually start preparing a month in advance. This year is no exception. I started shopping as soon as the twelfth lunar month came. I bought white wine for my father, fish maw porridge and skin care products for my mother, chocolate for my children, donkey-hide gelatin cake, cooking oil, milk, etc. When I moved home, I moved it back in two trips.

Yueyue has prepared the annual gift

Now, I have spent about 3,000 yuan on online shopping alone. When I return to my hometown during the holidays, I will probably take my parents shopping to buy new clothes and buy them new smartphones. I currently earn 5,000 to 6,000 yuan a month, and it will take at least one month's salary to prepare gifts for my family during the Chinese New Year.

Every time I go home, my family members are always busy preparing a bunch of my favorite food for me. I think it is worth preparing these gifts for my family during the Chinese New Year.

However, although I put a lot of thought into the New Year gifts, I think the most important thing is companionship. For example, my grandma doesn’t have a lot of food and drink at home, but as she ages, her mobility declines and her quality of life also decreases. So, every time I go home, I will heat up some hot water, wash their hair, trim their nails, and chat with them. I think these are the gifts that the elderly need most.

Author: Li Qiuhan, Wang Min, Zou Shuai, Tang Yahua; Editor: Tang Yahua

Source public account: Shenran (ID: shenrancaijing), focusing on innovative economy and dedicated to in-depth content.