8000 words, 82 articles, reviewing my thoughts on marketing, entrepreneurship and life in the past year

How do people in the workplace balance life and work? What new experiences are worth learning from marketers? This is Daojie's year-end summary area, which contains marketing thoughts, entrepreneurial insights, workplace tips, investment insights... everything you need. I recommend all workplace friends to read this article and learn from the experience of predecessors~

Recently, I often see people leaving messages on my Weibo and podcast comment section: Sister Dao, you have changed.

My inner thoughts: It has indeed changed, but is it really that obvious?

When I quietly flipped through my speeches on social platforms over the past year, I found that, emmm, how come there are so many insights into life? It’s as if I have become an emotional blogger rather than a marketing blogger.

In fact, over the past year, I have tried to break away from the role of CEO, hoping that I would no longer devote all my body and mind to entrepreneurship, but instead leave half of my time for myself to read and study, think about life, and establish a stronger underlying logic.

So, I have organized here my fragmented speeches and thoughts from the past year.

They may inspire me to write an article, or they may be an idea waiting to be germinated, or they may be a strange thought I had in the bathroom, or they may be golden sentences I wrote down after a conversation with a good friend...

1. Marketing thinking
2. Entrepreneurship insights
3. Workplace Tips
4. Investment insights
5. Self-examination

If you are interested, you can also take a look at my summary of last year. Without further ado, it is another year, and I will share it with you.

1. Marketing Thinking

01

Yesterday, I went to Sam's Club with my mom and saw something written on the wall: "Why only members? Why only limited items? Because we want to select the limited users we want to serve and give them a more exclusive experience."

Inspired by this, the core of the membership system is limited quantity, selection and quality.

02

We need to create a product with long-term stable delivery, replicability, and compounding potential, rather than a "short-term hit event that cannot be replicated."

03

A good brand needs to be built by good marketing.

Good marketing is not about taking advantage of human weakness to make money, but about creating and delivering user value. Operation and sales go hand in hand, marketing is a means, and brand is the goal.

04

The definition of marketing can be divided into narrow and broad ones.

Marketing in a broad sense is actually what Kotler calls marketing management, which covers the entire chain from production to sales, including operation to sales, including brands, products, and operations.

Marketing in a narrow sense is often about promotion, how to package a product and then sell it.

In many contexts, the word "marketing" has become a derogatory term that means more name than substance, which is something that makes me, as a marketer, very sad.

05

Record of participating in Budweiser's Creative X Awards with Mr. Jiang:

Don't be petting, be fierce.

It is better to penetrate a group of people than to touch the majority of people.

Don't be formal, use plain language.

Counterintuitive conflict + storytelling + ending with a golden quote.

Every time I meet Mr. Jiang Nanchun, I see that he takes notes and studies very seriously no matter what the occasion. He can create and write copy on the spot, and he can come up with advertising slogans at will. He is diligent and passionate. Every time I want to bow to him silently.

06

The essence of business still comes back to the product.

The essence of a product is to create profitable user value.

The size of the value comes from the size of the social problems it solves.

Either from nothing to something, or from something to better.

Stable product delivery and continuous innovation come from organization and culture.

Finally, marketing communication and channel planning are carried out to ensure that value is delivered to the target group efficiently.

And this continuous and accumulated value is the brand.

07

What have remained constant and changed in branding and marketing over the past few decades?

I did a podcast today. I have heard the guest's words many times, but I have a deeper understanding every time I listen. I wrote down some of the most impressive quotes:

• There are three things that never change when building a consumer brand: differentiated product innovation, mindset building, and channel expansion;
• Precision customer acquisition is like proposing in the bedroom, while brand marketing is like proposing in the square.
• When it comes to advertising, what leaves a lasting impression is often the truth, while what doesn’t is just self-satisfaction.

08

I have recently been exploring the situation in Southeast Asia. In Southeast Asia, the population is extremely dispersed, and each country has different situations and cultures.

• Thailand, seemingly open, is actually conservative;
• The Philippines is highly Americanized, and likes to consume and take out loans for consumption;
• Indonesia, overhyped and over-glorified;
• Muslim countries are repressive on the outside but long for freedom on the inside;

Social content in Southeast Asia developed before e-commerce, and e-commerce is still lagging behind, with only the blue-collar class using e-commerce. Offline shopping malls are still the mainstay, but they are monopolized by a few families.

09

A brand person must start with a product person. This is why the brand manager system often includes product innovation.

10

Integrated marketing should not be 360 ​​degrees, but 36 degrees. It should not be comprehensive, but sharp.

11

Why is it difficult for people from supply chain/channel backgrounds to build a good brand?

The core of a brand management company is not to own all the distribution channels, nor does it require the company to operate the supply chain itself.

If the supply chain is too strong, it is easy for the company to be forced to increase sales in order to obtain factory orders and costs. In fact, the butt determines the head.

Companies that do channel business need to have enough product SKUs and good price/performance ratio to establish themselves. The essence of channel business is still more, faster, better and cheaper.

If you focus on your strengths in products and brands, you can do it with ease. You don’t have to go for price/performance ratio or have enough SKUs. Instead, you have to capture people’s hearts, which is fundamentally different from channels relying on price/performance ratio and supply chains relying on volume. The logic is even the opposite.

We must be able to truly see the advantages brought by each strength, and more importantly, we must see the "cost" that comes with it.

12

Potential brands have the trap of being a daddy, which requires them to be both superior and approachable.

We must serve users in attitude and lead users in ideas.

13

A friend complained to me that startups don’t need a branding department and she felt worthless.

I asked her what she does on a daily basis. She said she develops products, creates content for brand endorsements, and creates official Xiaohongshu and Zhihu accounts for brands. She said she had some brand placement budgets at the beginning of the year, but they were gone by the end of the year.

I say, you have narrowed the concept of "brand marketing". If brand marketing only costs money but does not make money, it will definitely become less and less effective at the moment. You are now a cost center instead of a revenue center. The brand marketing you need to do should have direct benefits and effects.

Brand marketers cannot just engage in self-entertainment marketing for the sake of interaction and exposure, but must "see results". This has been talked about for several years, but there are still so many people who have not done it.

14

How does a content IP go from being an internet celebrity to being a long-lasting hit?

Create a column feeling: make it like Friends or a talk show, and make everyone look forward to the next episode and the next season.

The characters have a growth line: there are lows, highs, feelings, and growth.

• Valuable: Provide functional and spiritual value. Bring people joy and touch. More importantly, create social value.
• Focus: There are specialized fields and keywords, core and edge. Not scattered all over the place.
• There are boundaries: what not to do and what not to do.

15

After working on the short video new media platform for some time, I feel that speaking to people in the circle and speaking to people outside the circle are completely different.

People in the circle seek information value, efficiency, and leadership.

People outside the circle seek emotional value, so they just do it to please others.

16

Video accounts are like a mouthpiece for the Internet and a good tool for private domain operations.

Douyin and Kuaishou are public exchanges with a very fast pace of content. It is best to finish a content within three sentences, so some depth may be lost.

Bilibili is more suitable for long videos, such as giving lectures to children, but the commercialization link is very long and difficult to monetize.

Xiaohongshu is a life manual based on word of mouth and leading trends, where you can see many people sharing their real lives.

17

My approach to content creation has changed recently.

In the past, we were looking for hits, but now we are looking for ideas, systems, and series. Because hits are short-lived (unless they are unforgettable), and they are hard to copy, while long-term accumulation is more valuable.

My approach to operations has changed recently.

We will invest our heart and soul into the users that should be well operated, and leave the rest of the large-scale operation to productization and automation.

To distinguish the boundaries, we need to first think clearly about which users' behaviors are contribution-oriented (community content contribution, referral contribution, etc.) and which behavioral characteristics indicate that this user is high-value and highly active (RFM model). Here I would like to talk about Weilai's operating system.

2. Entrepreneurial Perception

18

2022:

Q1: Reorganize the B-side + rebuild the model

Q2: Rectify the C-end + Transform Marketing Think Tank

Q3: Innovation + Recruitment + Business Model Restructuring

Q4: Fighting iterations + the organization is finally stable and sound + focusing on "brand marketing" + half of the people return to being creators + researchers.

It’s really not easy to do business as a human being.

19

Those who want to start a business in the future can join early-stage startups early and practice entrepreneurship virtually.

I joined a startup company before, and every day I would think about how I would make decisions if I were the CEO. Then I would watch how the boss made decisions, think about whether his decision was the best, and then look at the results to judge which decisions were effective.

When I was an intern, my boss at the time told me that you will reach that position depending on the position and role you play.

Think in that role and you will become that role.

20

• Set aside time for team training, management, and feedback;
• Leave enough time for your children and family to spend quality time together;
• Set aside some time for yourself to think.
• Also set aside regular soulmate time to communicate with your partner.

This time cannot be replaced by others and is indispensable. When you think about it this way, time is really very little and precious.

twenty one

Starting a business is very interesting. You can think of the team as a machine or as a tree.

If it is a machine, everyone is a screw, and you need a meticulous system to make everyone replaceable.

If you look at it as a tree, it also has various parts that fit together, but they all grow together.

We are more like planting a magic bean tree. You never know what it will look like tomorrow or what fruit it will produce. But in the process of growth, each of us may blossom and bear fruit. In my eyes, knife skills are like a tree. I hope it has its nutrients and freedom.

twenty two

A friend told me today that the team needs a warrior, a Taoist priest and a mage.

A warrior can rush out to fight, a Taoist priest can come up with ideas and strategies, and a wizard can calm people's hearts.

twenty three

For the core strategic level, it is important to focus on the big picture and let go of the small details.

For the executive level, it is important to pay attention to details.

The word "fine-tuning" may be a misunderstanding. Don't be fine-tuned when you should be extensive.

When starting a business, you should avoid looking at things too closely, and you should not start fine-tuning operations too early.

We must first identify the key issues and resolve the key contradictions, and do things that are appropriate to each stage.

If you have to look at and think about every problem, you really can't live your life. But it's okay to plan ahead with the end in mind.

twenty four

On the road to entrepreneurship, if everything goes smoothly, everything is peaceful and there are no problems in the company for a period of time, I will feel very panic: this usually means that bigger problems are being covered up.

25

In the past, I wanted to prove that I was a great marketer, so I did whatever had volume.

That's totally wrong. If you target everyone, you target no one.

Now I know that what not to do is the more important brand person trait.

Which users I don’t want and which things I don’t do.

For example, if our users are sincere, restrained, systematic and full-stack brand people, we cannot be noisy or sell anxiety.

26

I used to want to find suitable people to be in charge of various functions, but later I discovered that those who can stand up and shoulder the company's problems in critical and difficult times and move forward step by step are the real leaders.

Executives will come and go, and they leave behind good standards for everyone to see certain higher abilities. The real core is the people who stay at the table and persevere in difficult situations, and continue to grow through hardships.

When I was working, I wanted to be a shining star and win battles. Now that I am a boss, looking back, what I need is not a general who fights temporarily and wants to be hugged when he comes back, but a combination of stable output and gradual growth.

27

What Frisbee taught me:

1) Don’t blame your teammates, only encourage them

Yesterday, I was on the court hoping that my teammate would pass the ball to me, but she didn't pass it to me. I missed the best opportunity. I was very anxious and complained: "Hurry up! Why is it so slow? I am so anxious." The coach said: You can't blame your teammates on the court, you can only encourage them.

2) It’s useless to be awesome alone, you need a team to be awesome together

I still have a strong sense of personal heroism. I want to grab the market, fight for it, and take over the market. I wish I could do it all. But in fact, I have to form a formation, arrange the team cooperation, who is the assistant, who is the first cut, and play to everyone's strengths. There is no perfect individual, but there can be a perfect combination.

3) The best leaders have a coaching mentality

Stop, analyze the problem, break down the movements, and practice the basics repeatedly. Patiently explain the problem to everyone and give suggestions for improvement. Stay calm in times of crisis and take steady steps.

28

The CEO determines the upper limit of the topline.

COO determines the lower limit of the bottom line.

29

When the business requires it, many things will happen naturally.

For example, whether to cut into WeChat for business, whether to productize it, whether to adjust the structure.

I always thought that I had to judge in advance, but some flowers just need time to grow.

This is what it means when the boat reaches the bridgehead.

30

Financial statements don’t lie, and you can find the root cause of the problem with just a little calculation.

31

Finding people, finding directions, allocating money, discussing with investors, motivating the team, finding business model directions, making good products, and building a good system are what a CEO should do. It’s about building the underlying system, not just being busy on the surface.

32

Working while traveling, my era of global digital nomadism has begun.

Yvon Chouinard, the founder of Patagonia, a world-renowned outdoor luxury brand, spends some time each year in Wyoming, where he hikes, fly fishes, and checks in with the office only twice a week.

This is the life of many interesting writers or entrepreneurs I read about in the book "Start Over 3" this year, so a few weeks ago I decided that maybe starting a business doesn't have to be so boring.

We can enjoy life and work hard at the same time.

We work hard and play hard.

I call it half holding a flower and half holding a sword, and so I began my journey.

3. Workplace Strategies

33

Leadership: Unite individuals into a collective and accomplish what no individual can accomplish.

34

I have a friend who, every time she speaks, I can listen to thousands of words but can't get a single key point, and no matter how many times I talk to her, she can't improve.

Today I asked Yogurt Brother, can you teach her how to express herself concisely and powerfully?

Yogurt brother raised his head, listened to a few words, and immediately pointed out the way:

1) Have you read the Pyramid Principle? Read the book first. Extract the core ideas and break them down into several points. This is the basic logic. Once you have figured it out, then talk about the rest.

2) You said so much because you kept talking about the reasons. You should first state your conclusion. The biggest difference between Eastern and Western expressions is that Easterners talk about the reasons first and then the results, while Westerners talk about the conclusion first and then the reasons. It will be more efficient to state the conclusion first. Otherwise, it will be dragged out.

3) After these points are achieved, we can discuss the art of communication, such as how to create a sense of picture, how to guide the other party to draw conclusions...

35

Don't confuse your own needs or demands with what others should do.

36

When you always feel that others are denying you, maybe you are denying yourself.

Trusting a person does not mean giving yourself completely to the other person, but knowing when to choose to listen to the other person's advice to gain the greatest benefit and efficiency.

When judging a person, you don’t define him directly as “he can do it or he can’t do it”, but write about the scene, time and conditions. For example, “he finds it difficult to prioritize when he is under great pressure, but if you give him some methods and tools, or reduce his workload, he will be able to prioritize better”, instead of simply summarizing it with “he doesn’t know how to allocate time”.

37

I have nothing to do, so I divide people into four quadrants. Due to my limited knowledge of animals, I can't think of which animal in the lower right corner is more suitable.

38

Recalling an incident in the past: the boss asked the team to do a project when the time was not right and there were no resources. He set an unreasonable goal, and the team accepted it. In the end, the goal was not achieved. Question: Who is to blame?

The key is separation of topics:

The team's task is to set goals that they are willing to work towards and then achieve them. If you think you can't achieve a goal, communicate in advance, or communicate what resources are needed to achieve the goal. Otherwise, once you set a goal, do your best to achieve it.

The boss's task is to determine which projects should be done, who should do them, how big the goals should be, and how much resources should be allocated to do them.

Everyone should try their best to complete their own tasks.

39

It is more suitable for those who work overseas for 2-5 years to return to China. If you return after more than 5-10 years, forget it.

Because the competition in China is more intense, 2-3 times that of overseas, and the working mode is completely different, there will be a huge anti-culture shock. It is best to join a Chinese company overseas for a transition and feel whether you like it or not.

4. Investment insights

40

Cultural and entertainment products are actually always at the forefront of ideology.

When looking for directions for consumer products, one should look at where movies, TV shows and variety shows are.

Take the dating variety shows for example, from "Signal of Love" to "Goodbye, Love". We, the baby boomers born in 1988, have reached the first chasm of divorce.

If there is a decision diagram at this time:

Marry or not? Go back to hometown or go to city? Have a baby or not? Divorce or not? There are 16 different permutations and combinations, so there are corresponding film and television works, which first satisfy some kind of spiritual catharsis from the conscious level. At this time, if you make a consumer product that is specifically targeted at the needs of this group of people, what will it be?

41

Today I heard a retail company say: The West is SpaceX, escaping from the Earth, we are the Wandering Earth, we want to take the Earth with us. I was a little touched!

42

It actually takes a company longer than expected to find true PMF (the best fit between product and market).

It’s all about exploration before you find it. It’s just like getting married. It’s not that easy to find the right partner, and the one you find may not be the right one.

If you haven’t found PMF but think you have, and expand directly to the next step, the backlash that follows will double your reward.

43

Only profitable altruism is sustainable.

44

It is actually wrong to use Internet strategies to target consumer products. There is a natural difference between the two.

Yesterday I talked with the P&G friend who is responsible for staggered growth. He said that it is like someone who has practiced martial arts, who knows when to punch and when to hit which meridians. People who have not practiced martial arts can only punch randomly, and although they punch as fiercely as a tiger, the internal friction is actually very high.

When making consumer products, every punch must form a series with the previous story and also connect with the future. Consumer products are actually advance planning under limited resources, integrating resources and concentrating efforts after studying human nature and communication.

The Internet is like this, first launch and then quickly iterate, using efficiency and speed, first lightning-fast growth to drive scale. If you use the Internet approach to completely attack consumer products, it will become a piece of loose sand, without forming any mark, and it may look very beautiful on the surface, but it is actually a mess.

45

If your business is in the exploration stage, never match it with a trader who is also in the exploration stage.

For businesses and individuals, at least one side must be certain. Otherwise, there is only a 1%*1% = 1 in 10,000 chance of success.

46

Sports and outdoor brands have a great opportunity to become super brands.

Because it has natural appearance, spiritual attributes, and functionality. When I buy sneakers, I feel more justified. I feel that it is not just a brand, but it gives me the ability to become better. There is a "amethyst effect". Nike, Patagonia, Lululemon, Moncler... can all attach a kind of sports spirit attribute to the brand.

5. Self-examination

47

Late at night I suddenly missed New York, even though I was young and ignorant at that time.

a New York state of mind: we create our own rules.

I looked through many old photos and suddenly found this cup that my boss from MK gave to our team. On it were several key words of team culture: accountability, education, boldness, passion, creativity, respect, positivity, collaboration.

As time goes by, these subtle influences have always had an impact on me.

48

We can see many problems, but not all of them need to be solved immediately.

Go back to the goal and find priorities. Some problems that have a far-reaching impact should be solved first.

49

A little discomfort is the most balanced state. If one day I suddenly feel that everything is going well, I will become very scared.

50

Simplify complex issues;

vulgarization of simple issues;

Vulgar issues are gendered.

51

Only with empathy can you look at things without emotion and understand the other person's predicament.

Only then can you define the problem, break it down, and finally find a solution to the problem.

There are thousands of solutions, but the difficulty lies in being able to see the overall picture and find the core problem in the early stages.

52

We complain about being tired, but at the same time we enjoy being busy, because it brings a sense of security and the illusion of being needed. But in fact, when you look back, you will find that you are just busy doing nothing.

53

Work-life balance = using time efficiently to create value + wasting time happily.

54

Should we focus on saving money or making money?

Poor people’s mentality: Is the money I spend worth it? Have I been ripped off? (cost saving centric) – managerial thinking.

Rich people’s mentality: Is the time I spend maximizing value? Is the money I invest able to get greater value? (risk investment centric) - leadership thinking.

Money is unlimited, time is limited. Whether we can spend the money to buy the most valuable assets and experiences, rather than constantly worrying about whether we paid a high price, is to look at the upper limit.

55

Don't get caught up in low-dimensional games, which are simply self-destructive.

56

Being understood, being seen, and being loved are the three common demands of human beings.

57

Whether you are a parent or a boss, you must avoid the behavior of "either not showing up, or cursing and pointing fingers when you show up". Even dogs hate this kind of behavior.

58

You must first accept and love your own shortcomings before you can truly begin to improve them. On the contrary, the more you deny and hate your own shortcomings, the more you will enter a cycle of self-denial.

59

What many of us want may not be financial freedom, but physical and mental harmony——

A kind of calmness where I can control my own rhythm, accept myself, and make myself better, but I don’t need to be manipulated by others. I dominate my own life and make my own decisions.

60

When others leave you, question you, or scold you, it's not because you are not good enough, but because they are on different paths or at the wrong time. Don't doubt yourself easily because of other people's behavior. You can get to where you are now because you are you.

61

You must not be ashamed to ask questions.

What does it mean to not be ashamed to ask questions? It means that if you ask some questions, you feel that the other party will look down on you and it will appear that you don’t even know the answer. But you have to ask them. If you don’t ask, you will never know the answer. And you can say “I’m sorry to ask you a stupid question”.

62

We need to find a positive solution to the problem. There is no best solution, but at least there is the best solution at the moment.

63

Where is the boundary between "obsession" and "persistence"?

The boundary is "whether you are willing to pay all the costs for what you want". If you have a desire but are unwilling to pay the cost, then it is obsession.

64

I thought about the core reasons for my self-consistency this year:

• I have given up the delusion of not being able to obtain it;
• The worst fear had already happened;
• Interpersonal relationships that are not handled well will end;
• I gradually got rid of the image burden of being an idol.

65

I have to make sure that I am self-consistent and I don't want to do anything against my will.

If I’m not in good shape, “forcing” myself will go against my grain.

So I have to allow myself to be a little "willful", allow myself to have my own pace, allow myself to rest when I'm tired, allow myself to dislike some things, and then I will become better.

66

You can't change a person, you can only understand a person more accurately.

67

I don't even bother to hide my shortcomings these days. I know my strengths and weaknesses very well, and it doesn't matter if others come or not, but I will still work hard to improve myself.

68

There is a type of person who will give others a score of 100 when they first meet them, and then as they get to know them for a longer time, they discover their shortcomings or that they don’t meet their expectations and start to drastically reduce the scores.

There is another type of person who gives others 0 points at the first interview, and then adds points as time goes by.

The first type always lives in disappointment, and the second type tends to deny others right away.

The best solution is to first meet countless people so that you can develop a relatively reasonable judgment of people from the beginning.

No one is perfect, it is not black or white, most people are in the gray area.

Don't judge people too early, make small adjustments over time, and don't add or subtract too much points regardless of disappointment or surprise. Lower your expectations of people, but don't lose confidence, and you will live a happier life.

69

The source of happiness is to let go of obsessions.

70

We don't have to be ashamed of having needs.

Don’t think “How embarrassing! It makes me seem selfish”. Any need is real and deserves to be seen and communicated.

71

If you care too much about other people's opinions, it may be because you don't have a yardstick for yourself.

How would you measure yourself?

I have set these characters for myself and my son. As long as they are growing, I am doing better and better:

• Honesty: Be honest with yourself and others;
• Kindness: Respect others, cherish everyone around you, and share with others;
• Happiness: Being able to love yourself, live in the present moment, and feel the beauty of everything;
• Passion: Have your own hobbies, study them, love the people around you, give and create with love;
• Courage: Have the courage to face risks and changes, the courage to explore, and the courage to persevere for what you love.

72

It was my baby who taught me what love is.

When I was putting my baby to sleep tonight, he struggled and cried loudly for his aunt, hitting and kicking me, hoping that I would leave.

But I still held him, humming softly and patting his butt calmly, and he fell asleep after a while, like an angel.

I looked at his face and felt deeply that my love was flowing towards him.

We transfer this ability to love our children to everyone; love is a verb.

Love is giving, not taking.

Love is that you push me away, but I still want to hold you tight.

Love is not about asking you to grow up and respect me, love is that I hope you can live a better life.

Love is that I see your imperfections, but I still see your beauty.

Love is a skill, a process of creating art, and it has nothing to do with the object.

I love you and it has nothing to do with you.

73

Love is not about taking, love is about giving.

Only a person with a rich heart has the ability to love, otherwise he is just plundering energy from others.

74

A good marriage is the process of two people falling in love with each other over and over again.

Both of them are growing dynamically, not stagnant, constantly keeping each other fresh, fighting against boredom and mediocrity. This is difficult, so it requires a lot of work.

75

Being able to put aside your ego and truly listen to others is something that sounds simple but is actually very difficult.

Most of the time they hear but don’t listen, or they hear but don’t accept.

From the very beginning, they do not accept that the other party has free will and that the other party can have different ideas.

From the beginning, you think you are superior to others and that the other person needs to listen to you in order to live a better life. You think the other person is immature.

This is really, really scary.

The smoother a person's life is, the more likely he is to have the illusion that he can "change his fate".

76

Whatever choice you make, I support you.

But you must be aware of what you are choosing.

——Words written to myself.

77

I was deeply touched by Niaoniao’s speech on “Talk Show Conference”.

Maybe this is the source of unhappiness for "good students" like us - we have been taught to work hard and be positive since childhood. When we lie down, we worry that we will fall behind if we don't roll the paper. When we roll the paper, we wonder when we can lie down again.

Everything was the worst arrangement. I realized this more than once, probably for many years, and I lived like a shrimp in the midst of the chaos.

I finally couldn't curl up anymore, so I was thinking about how to curl up while lying down. I started practicing "living in the present" - this practice really took my life. I searched online for "how to be present in the moment", and the answer was: be in a daze more, take more deep breaths, get closer to nature, look around more, and feel the atmosphere around you.

I did as he said, and today I finally discovered that there was a giant cockroach on the ceiling of the elevator in my house.

78

People often have a preconceived emotional judgment and then use rational analysis to verify or falsify it.

79

It is important to be able to distinguish which feedback can be adjusted and improved, and which feedback is a complete denial of individual characteristics.

80

What is behind anger? Fear? Powerlessness? Guilt?

Anger is the easiest emotion for most people to get into because it is directed outward. Blaming someone in anger can make you feel good and righteous, but the emotions you vent are often just the tip of the iceberg.

If you look beneath the surface, you can glimpse more emotions accumulating beneath the surface, emotions that you are not aware of or do not want to express: fear, helplessness, jealousy, loneliness, and insecurity.

If you can tolerate these deeper emotions long enough to understand them and listen to what they have to say, you will be able to manage your anger more effectively and you won't be angry all the time.

81

We feel a lot in our emotions.

For example, anger and sadness. Emotions are actually indicator lights, which often indicate that deeper needs are not being met.

When we stop to think about what is behind this, many puzzles will be solved. We are grateful for our emotions that allow us to see the needs we have ignored.

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In 2023, I don’t want to base my happiness on some false and vain obsessions and fantasies anymore.

I don’t want to just live in a balloon of my own imagination anymore.

I want to return to Earth, to the real world, to have real relationships, and to live in the real present.

Live my life to the fullest.

Carpe diem!

Author: Even; Editor: Sister Dao Doris

Source: WeChat public account "刀姐doris（doriskerundong）"