Revision of the copy

What would it be like when an experienced designer who has worked for many years and has seen too many copywritings starts writing his own copy?

Lao Yang is a designer with many years of experience and has opened several beef shops as a side business.

Maybe it's because I've become so experienced in design and have seen so much copywriting that I started to take on other people's responsibilities.

This shop is located near Shenzhen Huanggang Port. Since beef in Hong Kong is too expensive, many Hong Kong people come here to compete for the food.

Lao Yang's previous beef shop was not called this. After all, he was a designer and had not considered the partners, so he withdrew in a hurry.

After working for a while and having tasted the bitterness of running a business, he returned to the business and named his new store "Just Stubborn". He was so determined that no one could stop him. Within two years, he opened three more stores.

Lao Yang was a little surprised by the new trend of being close to Hong Kong. It was not the phenomenon of turning over a few tables, but many customers had to wait for three or four hours. Even so, there were still many people who didn't get to eat. Some Hong Kong people had to catch the last high-speed train and return hungry.

As a result, there were a lot of number sheets piled up on the tables and chairs at the front desk of the restaurant. The number sheets were made into various shapes and marks by the diners' hands, which made Lao Yang feel warm.

As a result, he was inspired to create, and not only made a film, but also wrote the article himself.

He said this would win an award.

I replied to him, what should I do?

I said, well, what next.

I asked him again how to write the copy.

He sent pictures over like squeezing toothpaste.

I said, write one first and let me see it.

Your number 72 is a set of numbers, and we regard it as a way to cultivate ourselves like Sun Wukong.
At this moment, you may be chatting and laughing, but at that time, we were confused and troubled.
You are the lone hero waiting, and we want to be your guards.
Your waiting is the most majestic ceremony, and we can only reward you with delicious food.
To us, the numbers you pile up are like mountains of trust.
The delicious answer is worth everyone's waiting time.

This is what he wrote, a design.

I thought it was one, but when I looked closely I realized it was five.

The last two lines are his creative concept, which is also the starting point of the copy.

How should I put it? I always feel a little nervous when seeing designers handling copywriting.

I asked him, did you write all of this?

He replied, otherwise

Is design so crazy now?

He simply published it and sent it to me.

So, I picked this out and asked him why he wrote it like this✍🏻?

He said that after all, waiting for a table is not a very pleasant experience, and he hopes to reduce the anxiety of waiting and transform it into an emotional bond between the brand and customers.

He added that he also conveyed his stubborn spirit.

Number 72 is a set of numbers for you, and we regard it as a way of cultivating ourselves like Sun Wukong.
At this moment, you may be chatting and laughing, but at that time, we were already in a state of confusion.
You are a delicious lone warrior, but we want to be your guards.
Your waiting is the most majestic ceremony, and we will reward you with delicious food.
Your waiting is a series of numbers, and what we look at is a mountain of trust.
Delicious food for everyone

He fine-tuned the creative concept again.

Seeing that I didn't reply to him for a long time, I guess he was a little disappointed despite being in a good mood.

Starting to "provoke" me, is this a bit beyond your understanding?

Don't let the delicious food down, don't let the waiting time down, don't let the delicious food down, don't let

He continued to correct his starting point.

Stop for a moment. After reading this part of the copy, do you like the copy designed by Lao Yang?

Do you feel that the picture and text don’t match?

Better than what you wrote, or can you write better?

Do you agree with the way he wrote it, or is there nothing wrong with you just writing from this perspective?

After all, it is a story about the store, a real existence, so the copywriter has no choice but to embellish it in this way?

Moreover, Lao Yang has several words and phrases that elevate and add points, some copywriters might be ashamed, right?

In fact, this is not the point.

I started to question Lao Yang.

If you write the number first, you must write all the numbers afterwards.

Moreover, this number is far-fetched.

Instead, frivolous

So what if it changes? Can it solve the problem for us?

It turns into a trick

Do you want me to learn ninjutsu?

Lao Yang replied [laughing and crying]

He simply adjusted it and sent it back again.

‍

I asked, did you write it?

He replied, what else?

I wondered where all the copywriters in his company had gone.

I began to clarify the problem.

What do you trust? Trust that you won’t be cut off in line?

Trust in the product, he replied.

He added that no matter how this sentence is modified, it will not be appropriate.

Where is the product? It's obviously a ranking ticket, I'm talking to him.

He started to be naughty.

He explained that it was to express one's feelings through sending things.

I said, this one should be written from the perspective of not having dinner tonight.

He changed the subject.

Concept can not

Let waiting be embraced

I asked him, do you treat this as a crown?

He is right.

I say you are so bold!

This is just an idea, he replied.

While I was so angry that I almost laughed, the first thing I thought about was how to write on his pile of receipts.

Everyone felt reluctant when their number was not called.

"Let waiting be expected"

He responded immediately and said, I think it's okay.

While the snake is still being attacked, why not try all the others at once?

Your fake copywriting needs to be reworked.

I just cursed back.

He is so shameless, my writing level is only 75 points.

He aroused my thoughts and I started writing again.

The votes cast with feet make the table feel sorry every night.

It takes several hours to wait in line for a table. The store is not big enough to accommodate all the tables.

I said, bah, you get 25 points.

He replied, hahaha, that’s because Teacher Cheng’s guidance was not good.

I say that the copy should make the picture sweet.

He was very quick and changed it immediately.

He said it tasted a bit like Dahongpao.

Is he responding to my words "Huigan"?

Seeing that I remained silent for a long time, his designer nature came out.

Are there three more that need to be changed?

I was thinking, I know you’re waiting for your number soon, so I’m listening attentively for you.

Since the number list he took looks like this, why doesn't he associate it with the diners waiting for their seats? Being more simple and approachable will kill you. Who will be touched by "Crown" all the time? Playing the harp to the cow, he will be stubborn as soon as he sits down.

He arranged the number list like this. What's the point of just waiting anxiously during the meeting? It's like eating beef, of course it's about eating beef. Then what's the point of playing the piano? It must be when your number is called.

He said frankly, "Okay."

The last one is actually difficult to change.

What does this number tag look like? Is it rolled up?

I read it for a long time but didn't know how to write it well.

I asked him to change the angle of rolling the meat and take another photo. He smiled and said that only lamb needs to be scraped before rolling, and beef is soft. Oh, it was night and I didn't feel anything. I asked him to wait until this morning.

In the dim light, I looked at the number list for a long time.

This number seems to have a hunched back?

So, so, it happened.

Your back is hunched over so much that even the cows feel bad for you.

He replied. Then asked, which one is the best? Support the advanced one, expect the common one. I replied. OK, support him. He still doesn't forget his pride.

He changed them all.

Then he asked, “Does it taste like that?”

I, you still need to take an intensive writing class.

he……

Author: Kuang Thirteen

WeChat public account: Free shipping