The Godly Copywriter in the Retarded Bar

Tieba is generally in decline, but occasionally a Tieba content pops up, such as "retarded bar", which says that it is retarded but also wise. Let's take a look at the author's introduction to "retarded bar"~

The once god-like Baidu Tieba has now somewhat disappeared, but there are still a few Tieba bars that pop up from time to time to refresh the screen, such as the famous "Retarded Bar".

This is just like a certain out-of-date celebrity occasionally appearing on a variety show and his talent can still become a hot topic.

I believe Baidu was serious in the beginning when it created this "Retarded Bar" because it does contain a large number of advertisements for hospitals that treat intellectual disabilities.

But then things gradually developed in a strange direction. In this forum, many people with amazing skeletons and shocking remarks emerged.

If you say they have intellectual problems, what they say is often indescribably wonderful.

If you say they have normal intelligence, these words don't sound like something normal people would say.

Just to name a few examples:

1. If a cat falls and is almost killed, does it have 8.5 lives left or 4.5 lives left?

This question is indeed worth pondering. Does “half death” mean half of one life or half of nine lives?

2. The earth is 70% ocean and 30% land. So where did the remaining 30% ocean and 70% land go?

This is a very reasonable question. We only mentioned 70% of the ocean and 30% of the land. What about the remaining 30% of the ocean and 70% of the land?

3. Wrinkles are ripples caused by time blowing through your body.

Wrinkles come from the aging of the body, and the aging of the body comes from time. When the wind blows over the water, it will cause ripples, so aren’t wrinkles the ripples caused by time blowing over the body? What a vivid metaphor.

4. Don’t talk before you leave Cambridge

These two sentences that have nothing to do with each other seem to flow naturally when put together. This is really not the ability of normal humans to use words and construct sentences.

5. I am not afraid of death because I have family on both sides.

Family is our support in the world. No matter it is this world or that world, when we think of their presence, we naturally won’t feel afraid.

6. I was walking on the zebra crossing, and the vehicles passing by gave way to me.

Because I have connections with both the black and white worlds.

When crossing the road at the zebra crossing, oncoming vehicles must give way, this is the traffic rule; when I step on the black and white stripes, everyone must give way to me, this is the social rule.

So this isn't genius, right?

As the 2758082nd member of "The retard bar", I have accumulated a lot of magical remarks from "The retard bar" over the years. These words plus the appeals are very interesting copywriting. You can take a look at them together.

01

When we put aside all complex cognitions and look at the world with a simple perspective, we often encounter many confusions and contradictions, which just happen to perfectly explain the contradictions in the world itself.

“He said he couldn’t see the future because he saw the future

In order not to leave any regrets, I left that place with regrets.

Who would have thought that he, who had always been obsessed with money, would be blinded by it?

Sashimi is dead fish

My newest photo is actually my oldest photo"

02

When we are "normal" for too long, we will develop an inherent understanding of some languages, which will become boring over time. In fact, in those seemingly conventional words, there are also interesting and different understandings hidden.

“When I was laughed at, my smile was taken away from me.

I'm about to drown in the dull life

Moon – from Starry Sky

So why should I be sad? I am living a ridiculous life.

I also want to be like Yueya and have my dissatisfaction written on my face.

All bridges are warm because they make rivers less sad.

I am a night cleaner.

Whenever the dawn approaches, I wash away the night.

03

There are also various funny jokes created by using "expectation violations" that break inherent cognition.

"Sorry for showing off!" I took off my mask after yelling

The current discrimination based on academic qualifications is too serious.

I said that my boyfriend was in elementary school and a lot of people scolded me.

After studying the composition of meteorites, scientists

I found that it was everyone’s childhood wish.

It's quiet at night

I turned on the recorder and recorded it.

Play when it's noisy

04

In the eyes of these bar friends, the world looks a little different from that of others. In order to make others understand, they use metaphors.

“The switch is the sunrise of the light, and the sunset is the switch of the light.

Walking in the rain, the umbrella is like a boat rowing upside down in the sky

Suffering is life’s anti-addiction system

Water flow is the wind for fish

The capitalists penetrated the masses and were taken out as foreign objects.

Hope is rising in my heart, like the sun rising in a cemetery"

05

And when the mentally retarded bar friends start writing poetry, there may be no place for poets.

"Pick up a beam of light and return it to the sun at sunset

I get up and turn on the light, returning the night in the house to the starry sky

When the words are too empty, you can hear the echo when you tap the pages.

Buildings made of cement are the resurrection of mountains

I lay in the middle of a sea of ​​flowers, expecting to be drowned in their fragrance

We all thought it was raindrops falling to the ground, but it was actually us falling into the sky."

06

Occasionally, he would reveal the truth about life.

“Children have no choice but to go home if they don’t have money, but adults can’t go home if they don’t have money.

You are what you eat, so you cannot become a superior person by enduring hardships.

Only cannibalism.

Why can't I see the road ahead clearly even though it's daytime now? "

Until now, the number of members of "Retarded Bar" is still increasing. From last year to now, it has increased by nearly 2 million, making it a standout among Baidu Tieba, where the user churn rate is as high as 90%.

I wonder if this is just the "retarded" people tending to flock together, or if it's just normal people banding together for warmth?

Author: Kuang Shisan WeChat Official Account: Free shipping