How often do you get bored?

Are you afraid of boredom? What kind of boredom do you often feel? Who is easily bored? How to choose the right way to be bored? The author of this article combines his own experience to share with you the "18-character mantra" when facing boredom. I hope it can bring inspiration to everyone.

It only takes 10 minutes to get home from Times Vanke.

The day before yesterday, when I was going home, I suddenly wanted to ride my bike for a little more and spend 5 minutes enjoying the scenery. You may think I am a little silly. I can obviously go home earlier to take a shower and do other things. Why waste time on the road?

In fact, at that time I suddenly felt that life didn’t have to be so stressful. There was no need to fill every moment and run non-stop like a machine.

It's nice to stop occasionally and enjoy the feeling of doing nothing. I also found that this kind of leisure time has its meaning. It can make people relax and not have to be in a tense state all the time.

That's kind of enjoyable, isn't it?

However, in the fast-paced life, many people are afraid of boredom. They think time is money, boredom is a waste of time and has no meaning; moreover, boredom gives people a feeling of emptiness and is very uncomfortable.

To put it bluntly, people may not have a clear understanding of boredom, which leads to the illusion of fear and rejection of it, thinking that boredom is equivalent to laziness, lack of goals, or a manifestation of immaturity.

01

So, what is boredom?

A common emotional state, like feeling happy, sad, and calm.

Some psychologists say that boredom is a temporary feeling of being overwhelmed and unable to engage in a certain state as the brain ideally wants. Modern theories have also proved that boredom is a special emotion, different from happiness, anger, sadness, and joy.

When it happens, the upper body becomes limp, the head falls backward, and the rest of the body basically doesn't want to move, a bit like what we often call "Ge You lying down." Regardless of whether you are healthy or not, and in any environment or culture, this kind of situation will occur.

for example:

If you are at a party and everyone is talking about AIGC, but you can’t understand what they are saying and can’t join in the conversation, or you are at your desk preparing to start working but can’t concentrate and see your colleagues busy, you may suddenly feel a little empty.

These feelings are boring.

You may wonder, with so many entertainment options nowadays, such as watching short videos, playing games, and watching TV series, why do you still feel bored?

In fact, boredom in psychology is the feeling of being unexcited at a certain moment, which creates an uncomfortable feeling. The brain is too lazy to move, so naturally, nothing feels interesting.

Just like me, after working all day, I come home and want to watch a TV series to relax, but I find that it is not fresh at all, the plot is old-fashioned, I can't arouse my interest, and I even feel inexplicably irritated.

To be honest, there is no lack of stimulation in this society, and we are surrounded by information all the time, but the real problem is that our threshold for perceiving stimulation has become higher. The fast-paced life and the endless supply of entertainment make it increasingly difficult for us to feel fresh.

It’s not that life has become more boring, but that it has become more numb, so this boredom is a "privilege" for modern people.

Think about the past when people were busy with their lives and had no time to feel bored. Now that living conditions have improved and people have more leisure time, boredom has also emerged.

It doesn't seem strange at all.

Of course, people have a universal tendency to attribute some meaning to everything they come into contact with through self-understanding. This constant desire to find meaning not only drives people to continue living, but is also a key factor in making life richer and more interesting.

However, once people find the meaning, they tend to fall into the trap of using the meaning to evaluate the good or bad of things, and even constantly look for rules, purposes, and values ​​in various things. Although this process is natural, it can also lead people into the trap of over-interpretation.

Just like, if boredom is directly linked to the meaning of life, people will think that boredom means that life has lost its meaning. This understanding is not accurate.

The relationship between boredom and the meaning of life is much more complicated, a bit like an elusive metaphysics. The connection between them also involves personal long-term and short-term goals and overall life planning.

Therefore, we cannot simply regard boredom as a loss of meaning, or regard the search for meaning as the only way to eliminate boredom. The relationship between the two is far more complex and subtle than we might imagine.

For example:

You really like your current job and feel that it gives your life meaning, but some of the mundane tasks, such as recording activities, may still seem boring and meaningless to you.

Also, some people may have a life full of purpose and meaning, but still feel bored and lacking in meaning in certain specific situations, such as waiting in a long line to buy something.

Even when you are taking a plane, when you arrive at the airport an hour in advance and wait to board the plane, you may find this time so boring that it drives you crazy.

The pursuit of its essence is nothing more than the fusion of the meaning of life and the scene. The meaning of life involves the entire direction of life, while the scene only concerns a specific moment.

Knowing these can not only help us better understand the relationship between ourselves, life, and scenes, but also allow you to face every moment in life with more confidence.

02

Therefore, there are four types of boredom:

1. Boring situation

It is the kind of boredom that easily occurs in certain situations in our daily lives, such as when waiting for someone, attending a lecture, or riding the subway...

A few days ago, I made an appointment with a friend to have dinner at 7pm. When I arrived on time, I found that my friend was late due to traffic jam. I sat alone in the restaurant, watching short videos on my phone. Neither the music nor the decoration in the restaurant could attract my attention.

The people around me were immersed in their own conversations, and I finally paid attention to the actions of the "waiter" serving food to other people's tables. My brain was thinking about some strange questions like how many bottles of beer can fit on a tray, how many minutes he can delay, whether he practices deliberately in his daily life, etc.

The feeling of not being able to find anything interesting to do for a while, but always worrying about what time your friends will arrive, time goes by especially slowly, and you always feel trapped in a time and space, longing for new excitement and changes.

2. Existential boredom

Existentialism is a deeper, more philosophical aspect that is very different from the boredom encountered in daily life and it usually deals with one's existence and the meaning of life.

From an existentialist perspective, human existence may not have any fixed, a priori purpose, and one must empower oneself through action and choice. When a person feels that his or her behavior and life are worthless for a long time, he or she may fall into an existential trap.

This kind of boredom cannot be solved by stimulation or entertainment. It is more of a dissatisfaction and confusion with existence itself, which may lead to a feeling that no matter what I do, I cannot achieve important goals or meet any real needs.

for example:

Recently, I often sit in front of the computer, staring at the mouse flashing on the screen and thinking, what should I write? What is the meaning of reading and interviewing every day? Why do I write? Is it to satisfy my pursuit of money or to enrich my soul?

If I pursue money, would I have more options? I am struggling to create content but cannot create a future. I doubt whether my motivation is right.

I realized that to overcome this boredom, I needed to re-evaluate my life goals. This was not an easy process, but it allowed me to explore deeply within myself and rediscover my passion for work.

Many people have this kind of condition. Simply put, I am not interested in anything, but after a while, I feel better.

3. Satisfy boredom

This kind of boredom reminds me of the time when I was helping clients with private domain business.

During that half month, I processed data and filled out forms every day. It seemed quite new at first, but gradually I found myself stuck in a deadlock of inefficient thinking and felt unable to realize my potential.

No matter how I changed, every day seemed so monotonous and repetitive; I began to doubt the value of my work. Even though the salary was good and my colleagues were friendly, I felt very bored with what I was doing.

It's like eating too much of the same food. No matter how delicious it is, you will eventually get tired of it . Later, I couldn't stand it anymore, so I started to devote some of my energy to other things and only then did I get through that long period of time.

4. The gap is boring

I had high expectations for a certain activity or event and was full of fantasies about how exciting and fun it would be; however, when I actually got involved, I found that it was far from as exciting as I had expected.

I remember reading an introduction to a drama online a few days ago. The plot and character creation made me very much looking forward to it.

But when I actually sat in the cinema and watched it, I found that it was not as exciting as I had imagined. The plot was bland, the characters were boring, and I even fell asleep during the movie.

This gap between expectation and reality makes me feel very bored. My originally expectant mood has become dull in reality.

It’s worth mentioning that certain health problems, such as anxiety, and even excessive attention to social media can also cause boredom. Although the media provides us with endless entertainment information, we may lose the opportunity for real interaction and thinking in the process of constantly scrolling.

Therefore, boredom has many facets. Although the result is generally the feeling of emptiness and dissatisfaction, the process and causes of boredom are diverse.

03

So, who gets bored easily?

First, people with low tolerance for uncertainty are usually afraid of the unknown and new things and tend to stay in their comfort zone.

I have a lot of such friends around me, who have been in a company for many years and are completely adapted to the workflow and responsibilities, even though there are opportunities to participate in new projects and take on more challenging roles.

But because they are always afraid of unknown failures and taking on greater responsibilities, they choose to stay in their current jobs. I often hear this kind of repetitive and monotonous complaints, saying that the work is meaningless, but at the same time they are unwilling to try more.

Secondly, people with low creativity may choose a more conservative and closed attitude when facing "blank time" due to lack of creativity. They are not good at exploring and trying new things, so they are more likely to feel bored.

When I was leading the marketing department, I found that some of my colleagues would easily refute the opinions of others whenever they were looking for new promotion strategies. They were always worried about "new strategies" and tended to stick to the methods that had been proven in the past.

This kind of attitude sometimes makes them feel conflicted, wondering if they are too conservative and closed.

Furthermore, people who lack motivation and passion often feel bored. Just like when I was working in the private sector, my work was repetitive like an assembly line every day. I lost the will to think about how to improve work efficiency and no longer cared about the final results of the project.

This boring situation lasts for a while until it reaches an unbearable threshold. Then I decide not to be bothered by boredom anymore. So, is boredom really a bad thing?

The answer is no.

Many scientific studies have shown that people tend to overestimate the sustainability of their motivation. In other words, when performing any task, we cannot expect motivation to run forever like a "perpetual motion machine" without consuming energy.

Since motivation requires energy, one important source of energy is the so-called "chicken blood".

This also explains why you often hear people mention concepts such as "chicken blood" or "painting a pie in the sky". This is not a low-level behavior, but, for some people, it is a very effective and necessary means of motivation.

So, we should not laugh at it, but should understand and respect that different people have different motivations and incentive mechanisms.

To put it bluntly, boredom is essentially a manifestation of a "low arousal state". A person's physiological and psychological activities are at a low level. They are neither excited nor particularly relaxed because of something on their mind. They are in a state between lack of stimulation and high motivation.

It's a bit like the feeling of "not being able to pick it up and not being able to put it down". Just like a job or a relationship that you are neither satisfied with nor willing to change. Boredom will prompt you to stop and re-examine your choices and motivations. Therefore, boredom is not necessarily a negative or useless state. It serves as a warning and a driving force.

It warns you that your current path or choices are not optimal, and pushes you to change the status quo and look for opportunities or new directions.

04

Obviously, you can be bored anytime, but you have to choose the right way to be bored. How do I do it? Here is an 18-word mantra to share with you:

1. Stop and lie down hard

A day is filled with various activities, from taking the subway, driving, to rushing to the company for meetings, studying and entertainment. We are often caught up in busyness and chaos.

Each activity requires different psychological and physiological states to be executed and get feedback from them, forming a complete loop; the essence of these loops has four dimensions: freshness, autonomy, controllability, and participation. Different combinations of dimensions will stimulate different psychological states.

When the sense of novelty is high and the sense of control is low, you will feel a fear of messing things up. Under a lot of new stimulation, this fear may make you excited and stressed.

There is very little autonomy and high involvement, and you may need to spend a lot of time doing things you don’t really want to do. This situation will make you feel bored and frustrated.

These specific manifestations of boredom will give rise to a feeling of boredom, and your body may tell you through instinctive signals (backache, irritability, emptiness and boredom) that it is time to stop and take a break.

Browsing the phone or watching TV series is not the best way. A more ideal way is to consciously and purposefully recover and adjust your own psychology and physiology, such as meditation, deep breathing, and light exercise.

These activities can truly free you from the daily hustle and bustle and help you find peace and focus again. However, I usually turn off my phone and computer, give my brain a chance to clear up, take a break for a few minutes, half an hour, or even let myself go for a whole day.

2. Meet people and get inspiration

When you feel bored for a long time and lack existentialism, the above methods can't help you. I have been lying at home for several days and I am a little doubtful about my life. What should I do?

Meet people, exchange ideas, and experience a different environment. Interacting with people who have different backgrounds and perspectives can stimulate thinking and lead us to see things that we may not have noticed or understood before.

You can go to a social gathering, party or interest group without any purpose, talk to others about what you do, see what they think of your career, etc...

Such interactions can not only help you forget boredom temporarily, but also allow you to meet people with similar interests, and maybe solve those problems that you have never been able to figure out.

It is worth noting that some people try to use the above methods to cover up "facing themselves". They go on frantic city walks, look for social partners, and gradually fall into a state of relying on social interactions to fill their inner emptiness.

This is not a healthy choice, because doing so may cause people to gradually lose their understanding and control of their inner world. Therefore, through appropriate interaction, you may be able to find resonance and realize things you have never realized before, but don't forget to talk to yourself.

3. Seek challenges and change your path

In the short term, the above methods are very effective. However, at a deeper level, if you want to turn boredom into a positive behavior, perhaps developing a skill or changing some habits will make it more likely that you will find your passion in life.

Not long ago, I set myself two challenges: first, to meet 50 new friends by the end of the year and do something for them. Second, to try to increase my exercise time every week on top of my existing fitness routine.

Isn't it boring? Haha.

But it is very important to me, meeting people forces me to change my social phobia and introverted personality, and maybe I can learn something different; fitness encourages me to improve my physical fitness, and more importantly, improve my willpower and endurance.

So, when boredom looms, these challenges will give life depth and breadth, making every day fulfilling and meaningful.

Based on the 18-character motto of "Stop and lie down hard. Go meet people and find inspiration. Seek challenges and change your path" , you can think about yourself and see if there is anything you can learn from it. However, you don't have to schedule your life as full as I do. Find your own rhythm and you will be able to live your life smoothly.

Overall:

Boredom is a luxury. If you find the right direction, your vitality and sense of participation in life will be enhanced. On the contrary, ignoring or mishandling it will lead to isolation and indifference. Therefore, if you understand and use it correctly, there may be a path to a fulfilling life.

Author: Wang Zhiyuan

Source: WeChat public account "Wang Zhiyuan (ID: 878436)"